The King and the Clown [Part One]

The King and the Clown

Film short: Screenplay
Author: Raymond Ly
First written: 2013
First published: (still editing)

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Description:

General style and atmosphere: Similar to that of The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) and British dry humour movies like Hot Fuzz (2007)
Setting: modern-day London; somewhere near Buckingham Palace where Queen's Guard sentries stand watch

"Queen's Guard." Wikipedia.

Main characters:
Young British lad: roughly 22 or so; curly blonde; cute, boyish features; flamboyant charm
e.g. blonde version of Drew McOnie from UK So You Think You Can Dance Season 1




British Guard: roughly 30 or so, wholesome/gallant handsomeness; looks like a warmhearted person; mature male features; tall
e.g. like bodybuilder Armin Scholz

Scholz

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Commence:

A young lad has a jester costume on and is doing tricks and acrobatics in the street. Nobody cares. People are busy and keep walking by.

There are various shots of him doing tricks and showing off skills in a broad range of subject areas.

He does chemistry experiments. He rides the unicycle while juggling. He does magic tricks. He does stand up comedy and improv. He does karaoke (song: “Don't Go Breaking My Heart”).

Nobody listens. 

His jestering involves advocating against unjust power and sham-democracy.  He points out that there was no communism or equality in the Soviet Union.  He is critical of Zionism and imperialism.  He calls for global direct democracy.  

Nobody listens.

[Jump cut between each dance routine:]
He does various dance routines with accompanying music. 

Nobody cares.

He is despondent and is walking down the sidewalk, juggling, when he catches a royal guard across the street watching him.  The royal guard looks amused as he watches.

[Jester thinks outloud]: “He's staring at me. Okay, calm down, calm down. Don’t screw this up.”  The jester grooms his hair and fixes his hat. He tries to impress the guard with another trick. He gets an even better response as the guard smiles as he watches. The camera closes into the Jester’s face expressing super elation. 

There is a musical montage of him doing jestering routines every day at that same spot across the street. The guard is shown constantly watching and smiling in the musical montage.

The jester lectures about abuse of the second level of communication, extreme (level-1) wealth inequality, how many scholars and self-professed leftists are Nazis in disguise, Dorianism, sophism, how most Norse gods are actually demonic PTs, and how millions of slave-makers including millions of professed Christians try to kill Christ consciousness.  [For images Jester uses, include images depicting bullfighting and mistletoe as adversarial to Christ consciousness.]  The guard seems to understand.  The jester discusses basic income and angiosperm-style evolution.  The jester discusses fairer systems of law and democracy.  The guard really seems to like this part. The Jester is elated (and has a “oh my god, this guy is totally into me” look on his face.)

The jester approaches the guard one night and tells the guard that though level-2 kingship is still important he only supports global democracy as good kings and rulers are hard to be found nowadays.  The jester tells the guard he thinks the guard would be a good king.

The guard, stone-faced and silent, keeps looking forward.

The jester eventually moves his act to the side of street royal guard is on and performs all his acts just for the guard.

The jester does many tricks. He gives satirical spin on current events and politics. He gives history lessons on the spread of the Indo-European languages (level-2 WW1), the Dorian invasion (level-2 WWII), the Late Bronze Age collapse, British imperialism, and genocide against the Irish.  

[For images jester uses have image linking Pluto, Persephone, and Cerberus to Baldr PT (Wesely Durden), Golden Dove PT (Vatara PT), and Hel PT (e.g. Martina McBride, Nancy Kerrigan, Shania Twain).]

He acts out plays from various cultures.

[Suggested: Krishna kills the naga Kaliya rather than letting Kaliya free]

Jester is dressed as young Krishna and stands next to carboard cut outs of Naga women.

Jester: What's that, Naga wives? You want me to let your husband go free?  Pffft!! Not a chance in Hell!

The jester puts on an army helmet and uses a rotary machine gun to fire rounds into Kaliya.

The jester presses a detonation device and a large balloon version of Kaliya explodes into confetti.

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On a quiet night, the jester approaches the guard. 

Jester: “Nice weather we’re having tonight wouldn’t you say?”

The guard is stone-faced.

The jester does some magic. The guard smiles a bit.  The jester gives a subdued smile back.

“Couldn’t help but notice you carrying that big heavy rifle all day.”

The guard is stone-faced.

“Must get exhausting carrying that around.”

The guard is stone-faced. The jester gets more desperate.

“It must take a big, strong man to be able to wield such a mighty rifle...” Jester grazes rifle with index finger. Stares alluringly at guard.

The guard is stone-faced. The jester gets even more desperate.

“I bet that big, long rifle fires an explosive shot. I couldn’t even imagine what explosive power it must have—with the right stimulus. I don’t question your deftness in that speciality.”

The guard is stone-faced. The jester gets a bit more serious.

“I realize you’ll be relieved soon. Perhaps I could also relieve you tonight.”

The guard is stone-faced. The jester becomes frantic trying to get a reaction out of the guard.

“I want you to **** my **** with your ****, then **** me until I’m **** and then **** inside me!!”

The guard is stone-faced. The jester starts going mad.

There are three flashbacks in a row depicting analogous scenes taking place in three royal courts in an era where society has begun declining from real to inverse-civilization (suggested: Greek region before Dorian invasion, India or a neighbouring region, China or a neighbouring region).  The royal jester in each court scene goes in for a kiss. Each king rejects it. There is a shot of the modern jester screaming at top of his lungs. He throws hat to ground and stomps on it while swearing.  He takes his jester wand and begins beating cardboard boxes with them while swearing and screaming.

The jester begins expressing his frustrations to the guard:

“You think you’re something else don’t you?”

Flashback to an equivalent scene in the royal court of Greece.

“Look at you standing there stone-faced while I humiliate myself!”

Flashback to an equivalent scene in the royal court of India.

“Why don’t you TAALLKKK to me!!??”

Flashback to an equivalent scene in the royal court of China.

“YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NEEDS, YOU KNOW!?!”

Flashback to an equivalent scene in the royal court of Greece.

The speech and cut-scenes increase in pace and get jumpier.

“I wish I had never walked down that sidewalk so I would have never laid eyes on your smug face!!”

The guard is stone-faced. 

[Splice-scene (i.e. a short scene treated like a new scene)] The jester paces back and forth muttering angry words while staring at the guard. This frame is shot from the perspective of the guard looking at the jester. 

Jester: “Do you think I exist to please you? Do you think you’re the only one who….”

[Splice-scene]  Close up on jester's face.  The jester is in a dazed state. “I am strong, brave, and confident without you. I am strong, brave, and confident without you. I am strong, brave, and confident without you."  Zoom out to reveal jester hugging guard with cheek against guard's chest.

Close up on guard's face.  The guard's eyes are wide open.

[Splice-scene]

Jester: “I take back everything I ever said! Everything I told you was a lie! The ramblings of a madman!! You have been listening to the ramblings of a madman!!”

[Splice-scene]

Jester: “You think you’re pretty smart, don’t you? Standing there letting me do all the work. You think you’re a bright one! Well, you have been a silly, silly fool for having entertained anything I've ever said!”

[Splice-scene]
The jester breaks canvases of images and diagrams he showed the guard across his leg.

Jester: “This was a lie!” The jester breaks a canvas over his leg. 

Jester: “And this was a lie!” The jester breaks another. 

Jester: “And this was a lie!” The jester breaks another.

[Suggested images (the Jester is considered to have been honest when he used the images): Odysseus and Persephone, a flaming Trojan Horse, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine]

[Splice-scene]

Jester: “I am separating our communiqué. I no longer want anything to do with you. Do not try to follow me or contact me. If you continue to listen to anything I say hereafter and lose the plot, it’s your own fault.”

[Splice-scene]

The jester is sitting on the ground with his knees up and back against the wall holding the guard’s leg.  The side of his head rests against the guard's outer thigh. "You don't love me." He cuddles against the guard's leg for warmth as he starts dozing off.

The guard is super creeped out.  His pupils dart to each side to see if anyone else is seeing the events transpiring. The guard continues looking bewildered.  

The jester starts singing Faith Hill's "Cry" in his sleep.  Guard has to kick him to make him stop.

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[Frame shot from opposing street. No music.]
It's later that same night and there's a large change in mood. The jester is awake and sitting on the curb of the sidewalk with the guard behind and slightly to the right of him. Things are quiet. The jester's hat is off and placed next to him on his left side. He is smoking and looks downtrodden.

[Frame no longer shot from opposing street.  Close-up of jester reminiscing]
There are consecutive flashbacks of the three royals courts depicting the ruler of the respective court admiring the jester's feats. Modern jester sighs. 

Jester: “You know, I feel there was a time" [flashback] “when leaders actually ruled with a fair hand” [flashback] “when they would treat their people with respect” [flashback] “and were smart enough to know who was being honest with them” [flashback]. “What’s happened to us? Where did it all go wrong?”

Guard's eyelids drop a bit.

Jester: “I just feel there was a time when…” [flashback] “...certain jesters could counsel on all subjects,” [flashback] “could entertain real leaders with all sorts of tales and tricks,” [flashback] “could advise on administrative matters” [flashback] “and even influence political and military campaigns.” [flashback]

Jester: “A time when people appreciated those who ferreted out cheaters” [flashback] “who deceive real leaders” [flashback to Heimdallr/-beetle PT] “just to get friend-zoned by their own grandfather.” [scene from The Simpsons with Smithers fantasizing about Mr. Burns popping out of cake] 




Jester: “While those with real integrity get neglected.” [flashback] “Some of us would have been truly loyal” [flashback] “and tried their best to make their patron laugh” [flashback] “and help crack down on shameless bottom-feeders and opportunists” [flashback] “and perhaps even” (jester has confused look on his face like he vaguely remembers something) “die momentarily and come back to life” [flashback: Greek jester wakes up in tub of ice water.  Ruler: “So, what was that like?” Jester has flattered smile on face.] 

Jester: “Where one would have no complaints” [flashback] (jester smiling) “as long as the ruler was kind and caring” (modern jester starts looking sad again and has hard time getting words out) “and trusted the jester enough" [flashback] "to play with the royal sceptre.” [flashback: Greek jester is alone in treasure room and elated to hold royal sceptre. Greek jester looks about deviously to make sure no one is looking. Greek jester inquisitively licks the sceptre along its length to see what it tastes like]  

Jester: "When one would have done all these things" [flashback] “only to find out” [flashback] “that the ruler no longer feels the same way!” [flashback: Ruler no longer accepts jester’s sexual advances.]

Modern jester sobs. Royal guard looks very sympathetic and has a sad, nostalgic look in his eyes.  [Frame shot from opposing street again; no break in time continuity]  Jester continues sobbing as royal guard stands.

[Frame moves up to sky and then slowly transitions to black]